Meant to Be Read online

  Meant To Be: A Novel of Honor and Duty

  “A heart-rending, white-knuckle journey into the courageous lives of our nation’s heroes. Realistic, moving, and uplifting. Meant to Be shows us the meaning of commitment—to country, and to love.” – Jocelyn Green, award-winning author of the Heroines Behind the Lines Civil War series and co-author of The 5 Love Languages Military Edition

  “5 STARS! A captivating and mesmerizing read.” – Readers’ Favorite

  “Reminds me of American Sniper and Lone Survivor, but accompanied with an epic and beautiful romance that is completely unforgettable." – Lauren Hoff, United States Air Force

  “Spot on with characters and descriptions. Strong women. Larger than life men. Well done.”

  – Lynnette Bukowski, Widow of U.S. Navy SEAL

  Ombudsman and Mentor to Special Operation NSW Commands

  Copyright © 2015 by JESSICA JAMES

  www.jesssicajamesbooks.com

  ISBN 978-1-941020-05-0

  This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, locations, and events are all products of the author’s imagination. Any similarities to actual events or real persons are completely coincidental.

  We hope you enjoy this book from Patriot Press. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books that honor the spirit, courage, and devotion of American heroes, past and present.

  www.patriotpressbooks.com

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy.

  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form.

  Dedication

  To my loyal group of readers and Beta Readers, thank you for helping me craft this novel. And to our amazing troops all over the world, thank you for your courage, sacrifice, and service.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  About the Author

  DEADLINE: New Release!

  “An engaging read. Hard to put down.” – Billy Allmon, Retired Navy SEAL

  A homicide detective and a reporter work together to solve a string of highly suspicious murders. Will the answers they find and the dangers they encounter draw them together? Or tear them apart?

  (Order DEADLINE on April 9 through April 19, 2016 and receive a free book of your choice from the author).

  FINE LINE Coming July 30, 2016

  A retired U.S. Navy SEAL with a new private security company must save his wife from the hands of a violent rival from his past in this edge-of-your seat suspense novel.

  Above and Beyond

  Noble Cause

  (An alternative ending to Shades of Gray)

  Shades of Gray

  The Gray Ghost of Civil War Virginia

  Liberty and Destiny

  From the Heart: Love Stories and Letters from the Civil War

  “The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.”

  — Jim Hightower

  Chapter 1

  Ocean City, Md

  August 30th

  Lauren Cantrell inhaled the salty air and tucked her hands into her sweatshirt to warm them against the ocean breeze. The sun was barely a hint in the distance, just a ribbon of orange-laced clouds sandwiched between midnight blue water and a vast expanse of dark sky. Staring in silence at the colorful horizon, she heard the first sullen call of a seagull join the rhythmic, soothing sound of waves licking the shore.

  She loved this time of day. With the beach all but empty, everything appeared still except for the constant, cadenced ebb and flow of the surf. She pictured the ocean as a living thing and this was its pulse and heartbeat. From the glittering sun on its surface to the thriving unseen dimensions below, the sea represented life in all its majesty and mystery.

  Lauren closed her eyes and took another deep breath, allowing the sensation of peace and contentment to wash over her. Standing at the water’s edge, she marveled at the ocean’s infinite power, a living force that could welcome her with open arms—or eat her alive at will.

  The sudden shock of cold water hitting her toes brought Lauren back from her reverie. As she leaned down to roll up her sweatpants, she spotted a white circular object in the sand and stepped excitedly into the receding water to retrieve it. Just as she bent down to grab the shell from the rush of an incoming wave, a gust of wind lifted her ball cap and sent it sailing down the beach. By the time she snatched the sand dollar out of the water and turned around, the hat was well out of reach, tumbling and bouncing down the beach like it had assumed a life of its own.

  “Darn it. I just bought that yesterday.” Lauren shoved the shell into her sweatshirt pocket and sprinted after the hat, but stopped when an approaching jogger scooped it up in mid-bounce without breaking his stride.

  When he reached Lauren, he stopped. “This yours?”

  “Yeah. Thanks. Sorry to interrupt your run.” As Lauren took the hat and gazed up into the jogger’s steel gray eyes, her heart gave a sudden lurch. It only lasted a moment, kind of like the flash from a lightning bolt, but it caught her off guard and left her incapable of speech. She stood spellbound, staring at him in awkward and uncomfortable silence.

  “No problem, ma’am.” The sound of his deep voice affected her almost as much as his captivating good looks. Lauren dropped her gaze to the hat she held in her hand, anxiously trying to pull her drifting thoughts together, and then focused her attention once again on the jogger.

  His smile revealed straight white teeth, and his manners implied a military background. Yet his brown hair curled from beneath the ball cap he wore, and his face showed more than a day’s worth of stubble. He continued looking down at her with the kind of careless confidence that comes from immense physical strength, and when she didn’t say anything else, nodded politely and continued his jog.

  Lauren sat down where she stood and put her head between her knees. Geez! They don’t make them like that where I live. She raised her head and stared out into the ocean, mumbling out loud, “Way to make conversation with one of the most gorgeous men ever created, Lauren.”

  Wishing she had some reason to talk to him again, she looked to her left, but he must have gone from a jog to a sprint because he was now just a dot in the distance on the long stretch of beach.

  Exasperated with herself, Lauren lowered her head again. Oh well. It wasn’t like anything would have come of it anyway. She reminded herself she came here to relax, and that is what she intended to
do. She needed this place. Tomorrow she would be on a plane back to that God forsaken land where she’d spent the last five years of her life. This was her chance to unwind and slow down. Just breathe.

  It had been two weeks since she’d landed in the States—just enough time to get accustomed to the culture and lifestyle of America again, but not enough time to really relax. In fact, the first ten days had brought their own level of stress as she’d attended a seemingly endless barrage of meetings, conferences, and classified briefings. Now it was just her, the sun and the sand. She intended to use the last twenty-four hours to revitalize her senses and restore her soul. She didn’t have the time or the inclination to be distracted by romantic notions.

  Inhaling the salty fragrance of the ocean again, Lauren tried to settle her mind. With her forehead resting on her knees, she dug her hands into the sand and let it fall out slowly between her fingers. Even with her eyes closed, she knew the sun had fully breached the horizon. She could feel the light flooding over her, enveloping her with its warmth like a comforting hug.

  Relax. Relax. Lauren continued to clear her mind and concentrate on soaking up the sensations, allowing the sounds and scents to wash over her, bringing back memories of carefree days and seemingly endless summers spent here. Even though she hadn’t visited Ocean City for years, it still felt comfortable, familiar—almost like coming home.

  No wonder. A stroll on the iconic Boardwalk the previous evening had taken her past many of the same businesses she remembered as a child. Hard to believe almost a decade had passed since last she’d strolled down those weathered boards, and now another generation of beach-goers was learning about this vibrant beach getaway in Maryland.

  The relaxed and welcoming atmosphere was exactly why Lauren had chosen this place. When her boss had tacked two more days to her time in the States and told her to go anywhere she wanted to “think over” an important decision, she knew she had to come here. Experience had taught her decisions were easier to make when your toes were buried in the sand—even life and death ones.

  With her palms straight down, Lauren inhaled slowly again and watched images flit through her mind like a movie. Not wanting to miss anything, she became absorbed in savoring each thought and storing each recollection. This place was special—more like a tradition than just a vacation place—with rich memories that could never be replaced. How many magnificent sun swept days had she spent here with friends and family—celebrating, relaxing, laughing…living? With her parents now gone, the people from her past seemed almost like figments of her imagination or characters from a dream. She didn’t want to forget anything. She didn’t want to move. Concentrating on breathing deep and slow, she tried to memorize everything about this moment in time—the feel of the sand, the warmth of the sun, the sound of the ocean. She wanted to be able to recall every detail over the next few months, no matter what happened or where she was.

  When she felt a shadow pass over her, Lauren instinctively tensed as if sensing someone was near. But before she opened her eyes, she remembered where was. Relax. It’s just a cloud blocking the sun.

  “Are you okay?”

  Realizing her first instinct had been correct, Lauren jerked her head up and squinted.

  The owner of the voice stood directly beside the rising sun, making it difficult to see. After blinking a moment at the brightness, she recognized the jogger who had retrieved her hat.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Just checking to make sure you’re okay.”

  Lauren stared into his mesmerizing eyes as she tried to calm her pounding heart. She couldn’t believe she had let her guard down like that. There was no excuse for being careless, even on a quiet beach.

  “I’m… just thinking. You know… about … stuff.” She groaned inwardly at her inability to make a sensible statement or even put a cohesive sentence together.

  The man, apparently on his way back from his jog, sprawled out on the sand beside her, still breathing heavily. “Oh, well, it gives me a reason to take a breather anyway.”

  A little startled by his boldness, Lauren glanced over at him and decided he was probably in his mid-30s—slightly older than she.

  “You find something worth keeping this morning?”

  Lauren cocked her head, unsure of his meaning as she dug her sunglasses out of her sweatshirt pocket so she could stop squinting.

  “In the water.” He nodded toward the shoreline. “Before you lost your hat.”

  “Oh, yeah.” She patted the pocket. “A nice shell. Got it right here.”

  She didn’t elaborate. Her mind was racing. So much for her situational awareness skills—being cognizant of one’s surroundings at all times. Not only had she let down her guard in a big way, but she was sitting beside someone who apparently had not. He’d been aware of what she was doing on the beach before she even knew he existed.

  A flicker of apprehension coursed through her, but the reason was more complex, or at least more confusing, than this stranger’s attentiveness to his surroundings—and her lack of it. Lauren could not understand why her heart throbbed with so much force she could feel it in her throat, a circumstance she found both ridiculous and frightening—and therefore bewildering. Conversing with complete strangers as part of her job, even heads of state and military officers, had never been a problem. Yet making small talk with an incredibly attractive man on a social level was suddenly beyond her control.

  The jogger didn’t seem to notice—or care—about her discomfort. “You come here a lot?” He tilted his head and stared at her, waiting for a response.

  Lauren shrugged to show outward calm, but the trickle of trepidation creeping up her spine began turning into a wave of anxiety. Is this guy trying to make polite conversation or pick me up? She was so unaccustomed to being in a civilized society, she didn’t know if she should be thrilled or scared to death.

  “Sometimes,” is all she said.

  The man smiled and held out his hand, ignoring her intentionally vague statement. “My friends call me Rad.”

  Lauren stared at the hand, then into his gray eyes—now more blue—and finally extended her hand. “Lauren.”

  Trying not to appear startled at the strength of his grip, Lauren studied him a moment once he’d released her hand. His smile appeared playful, yet she had the feeling he didn’t really use it that often. He seemed like a very serious guy, trying to act casual. Her usually—suspicious nature began to ramp up as she continued to analyze him. This just didn’t make sense. Why would such a good-looking guy be paying attention to her?

  For a moment they both sat silently, engrossed in watching a sailboat float across the water toward the orange fan of color created by the sun. Once the craft had glided over the glassy-hued reflection and returned to the dark mass of water beside it, Rad picked up the conversation again.

  “Now that we’re no longer strangers, maybe you can tell me how long you’re staying.” He leaned back on his elbows and crossed his legs as if chatting with an old friend.

  Lauren’s heart thumped again. “I leave tomorrow morning. Just came for some quick R&R.”

  He sat back up and put his arms over his knees, sighing heavily. “Yeah, me too, actually.”

  Lauren felt a sense of relief, swiftly followed by a wave of disappointment. The dueling sentiments surprised her, but she didn’t have time to question them.

  “Since time is so short, maybe we can get together later this morning… you know, for coffee or something.” He did not say the words tentatively as if testing the idea, but rather seemed to imply that such an arrangement was the only possible remedy to their predicament.

  Flattered by the invitation, but still leery of his intent, Lauren almost laughed out loud. Good looking as he was, she had no intention of having a one-night-stand with the man—or ever seeing him again for that matter. She had responsibilities—big ones—and a job that pretty much prevented her from even considering the idea. Tomorrow she would be on a plane to the other side of the world
, with no plans for returning to the United States in the near future. What would be the point of getting involved with someone?

  Anyway, she worked with enough Alpha males and egotistical supervisors to have a good bit of mistrust—and maybe even a little disdain—for the entire species. Relationships made her uneasy, even short ones that might come with no strings attached.

  Without thinking, Lauren’s attention shifted down to his left hand where there was no sign of a ring. Seriously, how could this guy not be married? She came to the only logical conclusion she could think of. He didn’t like relationships either—and picked up a new girl on the beach every morning during his jog.

  Lauren tried to act casual when she finally answered, but his cool stare when she lifted her gaze unnerved her. “N-n-o,” she stuttered. “Sorry. I have plans.” She tilted her head down to look at him over the top of her sun glasses and felt like he had read every thought with his searching eyes.

  “You’re not a very trusting person, are you?”

  “Should I be?”

  He stood and brushed off his sweatpants. “I guess not. You’ll probably live longer that way.”

  He bent down and shook her hand again. “Nice to meet you, Lauren. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  Lauren nodded and watched him jog away. She put her head back down into her knees and chastised herself. What are you afraid of, Lauren? Maybe he was just trying to be nice. Not everyone is the enemy for heaven’s sake.

  When she raised her head, she almost expected him to be standing beside her again and was disappointed when he was not. She lay back and stared at the sky, forcing herself to think of something else. But try as she might to delete the last hour from her mind, her thoughts kept drifting back to him.

  He was a tall man. She liked that. Physically imposing, strong, masculine. She liked that too—almost as much as the way he grinned from one side of his mouth and the way his eyes seemed to sparkle. In fact, if she had a list of things she wanted in a man, she could pretty much look at that guy named Rad and check them off.